After almost two years of inactivity, I am pleased to bring you a brand spanking new version of Steve's Talking Clock. There are only two major changes to this release: 1) full Windows Vista supportand 2) the ability to set the output audio device. Existing users shouldn't need a new unlocking code. If, however, a new key is required, shoot me an E-mail, and I'll be happy to hook you up. Please provide your original registration and/or order confirmation if possible. Happy clickity-clocking.

Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 8:00 PM EDT on TBRN.net-- mark it on your calendars. After almost two months with no broadcasts from the evil twin, Blart Radio is returning to invade your speakers, confuse your mind, and entertain your auditory senses. Some of what you can expect this week includes:

I finally recorded a new song. It doesn't have words, but click here and check it out. It's the first track I've recorded with my new Pod XT Live, Andre Louis's drums and bass are present, and it is now the new ending theme for Blart Radio. This version has no words, but I've been informed by my brother that lyrics may be forthcoming. The Steve-audio download area has just been updated with all sorts of new goodies, so why not head on over and check them out?

I, along with my twin brother, dad, and two other folks will be performing for the Denton Arts and Jazz Festival this Sunday, April 29 at 4:30 PM on the courtyard stage. I know a number of you will already be there, so why not swing by so we don't wind up singing to the trees?

Just to let you folks know, I am selling my Digitech GNX2. The unit is in perfect working order with just a couple of scratches between two of the buttons on the top face. I don't use it much these days, and I need the money. It's a fabulous buy, so take advantage of it while you can. To view it on Amazon, click here.

The Steve-Audio Podcast

URL: http://www.steve-audio.net
Language: US English
Copyright: (C)2003-2007, Stephen Clower
PodCast: Click Here To Subscribe

This podcast contains music, demos, sounds, and other similar content which I have recorded. Expect a diverse and entertaining combination from this feed.

twilight message.mp3

This is a phone greeting using the "Twilight Zone" theme for the background.

thanksgiving message.mp3

Yes, this cell phone greeting is in response to the Thanksgiving holiday. Let us all celebrate by going turkey and chicken hunting!

texas snow.ogg

We don't experience cold weather very often in Texas, so snow is a rare treat. I managed to have a recorder on hand one time when conditions were perfect for snowy weather. Here is documented evidence that even Texans can enjoy the snow.

texas rain.ogg

Despite the heat, it does rain on ccasion in the lonestar state. Here is the proof.

reflections.ogg

This was the first song which my band, Chronic Faith, recorded. Unfortunately, the guitars don't sound as good as they might have owing to the fact that we recorded this track a couple of weeks before I purchased my Mesa Boogie. But hey, you can't complain when the music is free.

pensacola waves.ogg

This is a brief file I made with a minidisc recorder in Pensacola, Florida in 2005. This only contains 30 seconds of the ocean waves, a boat off in the distance, and a few wee ones playing nearby in the water.

opening rootbeer.ogg

Honestly. Do I need to describe what this is?

nanthem.mp3

This was my first attempt at creating a singing DEC-Talk file for the fourth of July in 2002. It isn't perfect, but here it is for your enjoyment.

invinsible.ogg

This is a song which Chronic Faith has written. A Mesa Boogie is featured in this track along with some on-the-spot five-part harmonies.

head ache.ogg

Do you want to see how well your painkillers work? Listen to this file with headphones, obtain the free headache, and test your drug's effectiveness. I take no responsibility for any damage you inflict upon yourselves.

halloween message.mp3

Obviously, this cell phone greeting was made for the spirit of Halloween.

dectalk message.mp3

This is a tiny cell phone greeting sung by four DECTalk synthesizers. Not very flashy, but since it's heard over the phone, the flashiness wouldn't translate very well through the telephone receiver.

dc metro.ogg

During my two-month internship in our nation's capitol, I used the city's metro system to navigate through the area. This is a recording of one of my trips home from work. Listen with headphones for the optimal experience.

christmas message.mp3

What better way to get into the Christmas spirit than to leave a message for Santa? Or one of his elves? Or the guy who's trying to get into the Christmas spirit by making a bad Christmas cell phone greeting?

aircraft takeoff.ogg

This recording was made in the main passenger cabin of an American Airlines jet during takeoff. The nearby child playing with the rattle is not mine.

Why Im going to fail Tech Writing.ogg

I created this unusual file while waiting for a technical writing lecture to begin. Thankfully, I finished the job just as the class commenced. For the record, I made an A in the course.

Village Flute Maker.ogg

Eric Samson, or the village flute maker, is an absolute genius. He creats and plays his own instruments, and I was fortunate enough to meet him at a fair in 2005. Listen as he describes the instruments and demonstrates them in this recording.

Traffic Lights.ogg

I mixed one of Andre Louis's tracks with what has to be the stupidest Monty Python song ever. This quick 10-minute job is the combination of the two.

Tornado Siren Test.ogg

Here is a recording of the monthly tornado siren test in my city. This was recorded outside at my college campus while waiting for a ride.

To Sand Bar and back.ogg

While strolling along the beach one day, my uncle, brother, and I decided to walk into the ocean to a nearby sand bar. I was recording at the time, so the minidisc recorder and microphones came along for the walk through water. I really do take great care of my gear... usually.

TimeToGetTheGuitarsOut.ogg

Here's a slow jazzy number Andre and I worked on in November of 2004. If anything else, this makes a very good music bed.

The Stupid Story.ogg

This story was composed, recorded, and mixed during the 30 minutes I had between some university classes one day in 2004. It helped pass the time, at least.

Talking Clocks.ogg

Here is what happens when a bunch of talking clocks announce the hour at the same time.

Stereo Garbage.ogg

This recording needs a little explaining before you listen to it. My brother and I have identical recorders and microphones, and we recently stayed at a multi-story condo in Florida which, as sanitation mandates, has a garbage chute on each floor. We wanted to find out how it would sound if you recorded trash departing the top floor with one recorder and combining it with a recording of the trash landing on the bottom. Naturally, since we were already packed and had some time to spare, we set out just to find out how an endeavor would sound. The result is a combined recording from both points-of-view; I am on the right, and my brother is on the left. Enjoy this strange but amusing audio experiment.

Reverend Bigdawg 2007.zip

This is the Reverend BigDawg 2007 Christmas album. In short, Reverend Bigdawg (voiced by my twin brother) began as a parody of a minister we encountered during a mission trip in Colorado. He has since developed into a full-fledged personality along with a complete cast of characters. Featured this year are the reverend, Kung Fu Docta, Bobbo the elf, Mister Big Man, Belchy McGas and family, Senor Queso, Anthony Palaccillo, and Santa Cyborg. Ed, a fictional senile character is also in this uncut version of the album, but he is absent from copies of the disk distributed to our family due to a recent death. Also featured are three tracks completely produced by yours truly: 1) Carol of the Quacks, 2) Angels We Have Heard on High, and 3) Silent Jazz. For the last track, I borrowed the bass, drum, and piano tracks from a midi file I found and added harmonica and guitar parts to it. There are also some recordings from the Trinity United Methodist Choir from 2005, as well as some amusing bonus material at the end. Total play time is approximately 76 minutes.

Note: All characters are copyright by John and Stephen Clower. All other material in this album is distributed with no malitious intent. To our knowledge, all music and sound effects used are in the public domain. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made from the distribution of this work.

Quacking Preamble.ogg

This is one of my more unusual creations. I quacked the preamble to the United States Constitution and slowed it down by about 30 percent to produce this recording. The background music is Andre Louis's "String Piece."
For clarity's sake, here is what was said in the file:

We, the people, of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution of the United States of America.

Yes, I probably messed up somewhere, but that's what happens when you do this stuff from memory.

Quacking Anthem.ogg

Ever wondered what it would sound like if a duck were to sing the U.S. national anthem? Wonder no longer by downloading this file. Background music obtained from The Air Force Patriotic Music website.

LeavingGuitar.ogg

This is a little ditty Andre Louis and I worked on in October, 2004 on one of my Friday's off from university.

Jimis Alarms.ogg

What if Jimi Hendrix played a talking clock's alarm on guitar? It might sound something like this.

Grandfather Clock.ogg

This is a minidisc recording of my grandparents' grandfather clock. This was recorded at 2:00 in the afternoon, so I engaged in some very obvious editing to make it chime 12. I plan to record this clock properly soon.

Get off My Face.ogg

This track was originally recorded by Andre Louis. Using my GNX2, I decided to add five guitar lines to it, and this is the result. Best listened to in a fast-moving vehicle with the windows rolled down.

Dont Sound the Same.ogg

Patrick of PDAudio and I bring you this side-by-side comparison of our voices to prove, once and for all, that we do not sound the same. I kid you not; many folks thought we were the other person.

Difficult Phrases.ogg

I recently had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled, so I created a recording of words and phrases before and after the surgery. This is the combination of some clever editing and mixing of the two takes. Enjoy.

BlartRadio.ogg

This is the theme music for Blart Radio. Featured in it is the Digitech GNX2, the Superwave P8 synthesizer, and the Roland SRX drums and bass. Thanks to Andre Louis for the drum, bass, and lead synth lines.

Blart Radio Ending2 Fadeout.ogg

This is the ending music for Blart Radio. It is also the first recording I have made with my Line 6 Pod XT Live. Andre Louis generously supplied, via Adictive Drums and a ROland XV5050, the drum and bass tracks.

A Public Service Announcement.ogg

If you ever find yourself in a post-apocolyptic war zone, heed this announcement's advice... while there is still time.

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Good morning, afternoon, and/or evening to you, depending on where you are and when you're reading this. I am Stephen Clower, the owner and maintainer of this web site. I am a senior at the University of North Texas and will graduate with a B.S. in business computer information systems in 2008.

I have just completed an upgrade to the web server's content management system. Though I see no problems with the upgrade, there is always the chance of a minor error slipping through the cracks. If you find something here is no longer working, please drop me a line. Thanks.

I have made some fixes to the web site, including the removal of all the spam and related user accounts. I believe I have sorted out all of the legitimate accounts from the spammers, but please E-mail me if I mistakenly terminated your account. All future account requests will require my approval. This should cut down on the unnecessary comments and otherwise pointless activity on this server. Some new audio is on the way as well, so keep an eye on this page for updates. Thanks as always for dropping by.